Family,
It has been a very long week.
Huancavilca should change its name to Beverly Hills or something like that.
It is very distinct compared to the rest of Ecuador. Guayaquil is a
difficulty city, but Huancavilca is the most difficult part of the difficult
city. The people are very rich and educated. The youth are never
home because of classes. The old, retired people just don’t like ANYONE
knocking on their door. I question a lot the reason why I am here.
I had a goal of 50 baptisms before I end my mission but if I have to stay
here until the end, then I change my goal to 40. It is a very difficult
area. Now, what took my companion six weeks to find out, I found out in
one day; Contacting doesn’t work! So we have made plans to approach
finding people to teach. We have to work with the members because they
are awesome. This is not a little branch of 30 people, this is a ward of
150. Almost all the men are return missionaries and the old people are
temple workers so we do have their help.
I have learned many interesting
things this week. My mind has wondered off as we walk under the hot sun
all day. I have been looking back on my mission up until this point to
see what I have gained or learned. I realized that in my first year as a
missionary, I really didn’t learn that much. I learned to love the
people, and I acquired some good habits like studying, but there really wasn’t
too much growth. However, in the first year, I managed to move up the
ranks quicker than others and found myself as a young zone leader- happier than
ever. After, I was dropped down again, received a Dear John letter, and
was stuck in a bad sector, the learning process really began. I look at
this last 9 months or so and see that the real growth came through overcoming
trials. I can honestly look at myself as a humble person now (or at least
a whole lot more humble than before). As
I have made mistakes, either because of laziness or because I didn’t see much
point in trying if I wasn’t going to receive any recognition, my whole mind
frame has changed. Our Heavenly Father is very merciful. He can
make you feel like total garbage and then reach out and say that he loves you
and he wants to forgive you and allow you to prove yourself to him. I
will never say that I served the picture perfect mission (a mission that all
the prophets and apostles encourage us to serve), but the trials that I have
had to overcome, have taught me so much more than I could have ever learned on
my own. God has a plan for me.
Every gift in life is earned.
Some gifts I have, were attained through my obedience and diligence in
the pre-mortal realm (Smile, ability to speak well, teach well, play sports, and
motivate others, likeable...) But I GAINED them. Here on earth it is the
same. I have to GAIN gifts and attributes of Christ. It was hard
for me to look people in the eye, so what did I have to do? Work at it- Look
directly at the person I am talking to and force myself to practice over and
over until it becomes a part of me. I had trouble loving the people of
Ecuador, so what did I have to do? Practice. Pretend. Force myself
to ask how their day was, or serve them, think like them, until I could truly
say that I love them. It is the same with all gifts and attributes of Christ.
If you make goals and plans to better yourself, and you are diligent in consciously
making correct decisions, you can make your weaknesses strengths.
The choices you make now, can affect
the rest of your life. I remember an experience I had when I only had 4
months in the mission. We were contacting when we heard gun shots.
A young (17-20 years old) thief came running around the corner with a
look on his face that I will never forget. It was a look a pure fear.
I could see in his eyes the regret and terror of the choice he had just
made to steal. As the police tackled him, beat him, and then handcuffed
him right in front of our noses, he began to cry. I remember the sick
feeling I had that moment, as neighbors left their houses and began talking
about the young boy and running to inform his parents. I thought to
myself, ¨How easy was it for this young boy to ruin his life¨ One small choice
to steal a cell, completely ruined his life. He would go to prison of
course… for how long, I don’t know. But I
remember the sadness I felt for him. Like I said, God is merciful.
He is willing to forgive. But you never know what the eternal consequences
can be.
These are just a few of the thoughts
I had over the week. I only have 12 more weeks to enjoy being a
missionary. I am so thankful for the knowledge and experience I have
gained in these 2 years. The future is bright.
Love,
Elder McRae
