11.18.12 Guayaquil, Ecuador

Family,

It was a really great week.  My head has cleared up a lot.  I haven´t really been worrying about anything so that has made me happier.  Jadira got baptized on Saturday and confirmed yesterday.  I will be honest, it was the hardest baptism and confirmation I have experienced.  The stats prove that someone like Jadira would never get baptized.  Last week, the day of her baptism, she flaked out and said she didn´t want to do it.  The next day on Sunday, she didn`t go to church.  We had a difficult time finding her during the week as well.  All those are characteristics of someone who will never get baptized.  Saturday came around and in the morning she said she wasn`t sure, but maybe she should wait another week.  We did everything we could to keep her excited and told her we would pass by in the night to pick her up and take her to the baptism.  We filled the baptismal font, invited members, and got all the baptismal clothes ready with the sick feeling in our hearts that she would end up running away and not getting baptized.  With this feeling still in our hearts we went to Blanca and David`s house to invite them to the baptism.  Before we knocked on the door Blanca walked out all dressed up like she was going to church. She said, ‘Sorry we are running late, David is coming down right now, and Jadira is on her way over now to go to the baptism.’  As we turned around, Jadira was walking towards us to Blanca`s house all dressed up with her baptismal clothes in a bag in her hand.  I can`t describe the happiness that went through my whole body in that moment so I wont try.  But what I can describe is the flying ninja kick I did in the air in the middle of the street in joy about 3 minutes later.  So Jadira got baptized and the next morning we passed by to pick her up for the confirmation.  Jadira said she couldn`t go because her mom was angry at her for something and said she couldn’t leave. We tried and tried and tried to get the mom to let her go but she didn`t want to talk to us.  (The mom has a lot of troubles that we are trying to help her with).  All hope seamed lost until Blanca showed up to take Jadira to her confirmation.  After Blanca talked to the mom and Jadira, Jadira was in the church being confirmed.  I can not believe how awesome Blanca is.  David was at the church early, received the priesthood, and was standing outside the church at 5 15pm, 15 minutes early for the Aaronic priesthood meeting in the church.  David and Blanca have to be two of my best converts.  I am so thankful for them and so proud of how awesome they are and devoted to what they know is true.  Jadira now can feed off of their examples and hopefully in a few weeks, Jadira`s whole family can be members of the church.  

I also heard that my converts from Cuenca, Diego and Elizabeth will be getting sealed in the Guayaquil Temple in March!!!  If i am still here in Guayaquil at that time I will be able to attend the (sellamiento) ¿¿sealing??  

This week has been super great.  We have gotten way more focused.   President held a 2-day meeting with the senior companions of a couple zones and he told us to repent and work harder.  I am still convinced that I have the best mission president in the world.  I know probably everyone says that, but I am sure that Presidente Montalti is the best.  He just knows how to get to me and put me back on the right track.  Anyways, my companion and I made a goal to invite everything that moves and/or breaths to be baptized.  It worked. We had much success.  This week, 11 people accepted to be baptized.  6 actually live in our sector.  We passed the others off to the office to give the references to the missionaries.  What we learned is that we should never be afraid to talk to anyone and that we should just invite them to receive a remission of their sins.  

I hope everything is great in AZ.  Wear 24 proudly Gavin and score North Korean nuclear missiles!  

Love,

Elder McRae  

11.12.12 Guayaquil, Ecuador

Family,

This week had its ups and its downs.  I don`t know why but sometimes I just get super angry.  I guess I let my mind start to get the best of me and I get upset.  As I think like a total pessimist, and ask ¨Why me?¨ or ¨Where are my blessings?¨ I get myself all psyched out.  Anyways, so Tuesday morning, I just woke up angry.  We went to our normal district meeting and I did my best to not show how fuming I was.  Obviously my companion could tell and a couple other missionaries but everything was all under control.  Of course the Super unaware, 3 weeks into her mission, Sister May didn`t notice my attitude.  She asked me to give her a blessing after the district meeting.  She can`t understand Spanish very well yet and I was the only Elder that spoke English there, so she asked me to give it in English.  I took a huge breath and went ahead and gave her a blessing.  I think I messed up over 100 times looking for words and stumbling on pronunciation… but I made it through.  My companion laughed at me all day because he knew I was not super excited to give her a blessing, feeling the way I did.  After about half way through the day, we were walking and I think there was steam coming out of my ears.  I saw a man sitting on the curb looking very upset.  He had a lot of little Ecuador flags and key chains and dumb things like that.  I don`t know how or why I did, but I sat down next to him and asked him how he was doing.  He said, ‘tired’.  I told him I was too.  I could tell he was very shy and sad about his situation.  I asked him how his work was going and he said it wasn`t going well.  So I read him a scripture about how if we put our trust in God he will give us the success in life we are looking for.  Then I bought an Ecuador key chain and we went on our way.  I have never really been able to relate very much with the people I teach but I was glad to be able to relate to this man.  I didn`t feel super amazing afterwards, but I did feel the satisfaction that I helped someone out when I just wanted to kick someone in the head.  

I just still am so surprised for some reason that life is hard.  I am doing my best to notice all the good things in life, so I can refocus my energy and be grateful. 

David and Blanca got baptized.  It was awesome and I am so excited to see them progress in the gospel.  

So it looks like you guys have lots of work to do back at home.  It is crazy how you can never take a break.  There is always something you can do to serve the Lord and better yourself.  

Anyways, i am sill very happy to be here.  I do love my mission and I am enjoying it.  I just have my moments.  The Lord wants me to show a lot of faith right now.  I do understand that. That is what I pray for every night.  Faith and Hope that everything will be okay later.

Love,

Elder McRae

11.5.12 Guyayquil, Ecuador

Family,

We did have another great week as far as the work goes.  We will have three baptisms this week.  Pray for David, Blanca, and Jadira.  David is so excited. From the second we began talking to this kid, he has been full of questions about when he will serve his mission and where he will go.  Yesterday, he went to the church by himself at 4 30 in the afternoon to visit the less active members of his quorum with the other young men.  He is so funny, and I am so thankful I got the opportunity to teach him.  We have had a lot of family home evenings with less active members and they have all turned out really positive.  We are working a lot with the bishop to help this little ward out.  It really does require ALL your time and attention to help build a ward.  When we are working hard, that is when I am the most happy.  My companion, unfortunately, has had to deal with all my emotions and mood swings.  I find myself apologizing to him often.  But I have gotten better.  

Yesterday was El Clasico.  Barcelona against Emelec.  The two biggest teams in Guayaquil.  It ended 5-0.  Imagine what would be going on in the streets of England if Man U beat Chelsea 5-0.  Or in Spain if Real Madrid beat Barcelona 5-0.  There were lots of red cards in the game and a ton of fans kicked out and arrested.  A few deaths also.  It made it basically impossible to work last night.  It was cool to see everyone go crazy though.  

This is about all I have to report.  I have built many great relationships here already.  The people of Guayaquil are so open.  As annoying as that can be it really makes it easier to love them.  They are all God`s children.  I need to work on being more humble.  I have progressed, but I still can see that my pride is holding me back.  It is my pride that puts me in bad moods.  It really is a constant battle.  I always thought that I would reach a point in my life where everything would just be easy and I could make all the right choices and everything would turn out great.  But it really doesn`t get easier.  The circumstances just change and you realize that you have different difficulties to deal with.  (I just reread what I wrote and I have no idea if that makes any sense.  I have too much Spanish in my head)  Point is that Heavenly Father never gives us a break and he always wants us to find ways to better ourselves.  

I am very happy and animated and excited most of the time.  Every day gets better.  

Love,

Elder McRae

P.S.  We NEVER beat Williamsfield.  0-3 in Football and 0-1 in Soccer.  Please kill them!

10.29.12 Guayaquil, Ecuador

Family,

My head has been full of millions of emotions.  I can´t explain most of them. The part that gives me the most comfort is that I really, really couldn’t care less about the whole Dear John issue.  I have other preoccupations. (I don´t know if that is a word... Preocupaciones). We had a great meeting with President this week and he basically talked about cracking down and focusing.  I was thankful for that because I do think it really helped.  He gave a great example that showed us how important our calling really is, and how the Lord expects us to work in his vineyard.  

We actually had a very successful week.  We brought lots of people to church and have some great baptismal prospects.  We worked very hard in the midst of all my crazy emotions.  What I think really freaks me out is my future.  I just don`t have any idea what I want to do.  I have an idea of what I want to do but it seams more like fantasyland than reality.  SO that is a little bit discouraging at times.  But as I keep my mind focused on what I am doing, and how Heavenly Father is breathing down my neck, I am okay.  

A lot of what you said in your letter makes sense to me.  I really have been doing a lot of thinking.  A LOT of thinking.  Like dad, mostly thinking in the negative.  I thought to myself a few times, like you said, why don`t I just give up? What am I getting out of this?  I am useless and unneeded.  But I think, also like you said, NO I made a covenant in the temple.  WHY WOULD I THINK OR CARE ABOUT THAT?  If I am ready to quit and give up, why does my covenant in the temple matter?  But I am so grateful that I possess that quality.  You’re right. One of my gifts is loyalty and commitment to covenants. I surprised myself as I thought that to myself.  I don’t need to rethink covenants I have already made! I must actually be doing what is right because I know I made a promise to Heavenly Father… not because I want to please my parents, or my friends, or anyone else.  

I have thought and rethought about a lot of things, and I just hope and try to exercise the faith that everything will turn out well.  I just don`t want to be miserable for my whole life.  I want to find a wife that I love, and share great experiences with her and my children that I love.  I want to magnify my calling and help others be happy as I do it.  That is where I have to show my faith because as of right now, none of those things are in a clear position.  But I do feel a lot better.  Every day is a battle, but what did Jesus say?  ¨Toma tu cruz y anda¨ I think that means take your cross and walk.  It wasn`t all easy and fun and games for him.  Why should it be for me?  

So yes- we had a much better week this week.  I hope you did too.  Last night as I was eating dinner with one of the best families in Ecuador, Sister Glenda told me to tell you guys that I love you.  I told her it felt awkward to me to tell my family I love them and she about smacked me off the chair.  Her son is on a mission in Venezuela.  He had to wait 6 months for his visa so he served part of his mission here in Ecuador.  He and I were together when I was in Naranjito, so I have a good relationship with him and now the rest of his family.  Anyways, so I have to practice so that it becomes more comfortable.  I love you MOM.  I love you DAD.  I love you CAMERON.  I love you Gavin.  And of course, I love you ABBS.

Love,

Elder McRae

10.22.12 Guayaquil, Ecuador

Family,

Okay, so I want this email to be a lot more real than the other emails I have sent. The truth about how things are going right now is actually not so great. For the last 2 months everything has felt more like a routine.  Basically, ever since I left Cuenca.  I feel like my mission should have only been a year long.  I really have lost my focus.  I feel like I am back in school.  I just procrastinate and wait until the grades close so I can be relieved from the stress instead of doing something to better my grades.  I feel the same way right now.  I haven´t Baptized anyone in 7 weeks now and I don´t really feel much of the desire to baptize anyone.  Ever since I got dropped from zone leader, I have lost my love for missionary work.  My last week as zone leader, I really felt like I had become a great disciple of Christ.  I felt the spirit; I had the desire to work.  So, I don’t know how I feel. I got the Dear John letter, by the way, but I already knew things were headed in that direction and that’s not the biggest problem. The bigger problem is that I feel like crap for not being a zone leader.  It scares me to know that I am going to come home in 9 months and not have become the person I was supposed to become. 

For now, I could really use some advice on how I can get out of this slump.  

If you can respond sometime today, that would be nice.  I will check back later. I could really use some help today.

Family,

I have been praying throughout the day for the strength I need.  More than strength, I feel like I need to clear my head.  The three Elders I live with helped me with that as we burned some Dear John items.  That just led to us all running to the vacant upstairs apartment because smoke filled our whole house.  But I do feel a little better.  Not because of the burning ritual, which was a funny distraction, but because of the emails from you and Dad.  I was writing in my journal and realized that I do not want to leave.  Even though I have felt like total crap something in my heart tells me that I’m in the right place. By the way, I think this is the first time I have ever said this but you guys were right.  I should have finished that relationship well before I left, and girls should do boys a favor and finish it too.  It would have made things much easier.  As for no longer being a zone leader, I do see the good in it.  I do see this as an opportunity to humble myself and overcome challenges.  As I learn to overcome challenges here, I will be more prepared to face them later on.  I will be fasting as well.  I will go home right now and start reading the scriptures.  I felt that prompting to read my scriptures.  You verified it.  Okay well we will see how this week goes.  I will pray for you guys as well.  But tell Dantrell that he is my girlfriend until he finds me a better replacement.  

I have always said to people here in the mission, ‘you choose to feel the way you do!’ I know that that is true.  I guess it is about time I start following my own advice.  I have the power to act and respond to things however I want.  Pray that I will be able to fall in love with the work again.  

Love,

Elder McRae  

10.15.12 Guayaquil, Ecuador

Family,

Okay, so it sounds like everyone is super busy besides me.  I just got changed about 3 minutes up the road to the ward Solana.  My new companion is Elder Saenz.  He is from Nicaragua and has been on the mission for two months.  He looks excited to work which is good because not every companion wants to work.  When I get paired up with a companion who is not excited to work, I do feel like I am helpful.  I actually take the time to sit down and listen.  I also do what I can to serve him and help him not to look bad in front of our leaders.  A lot of missionaries get frustrated and yell at their underachieving companions and highlight everything he is doing wrong and then tell the zone leaders or something. My last companion was a good guy, just a little lazy and didn´t take the rules seriously.  I learned a lot from him though.  Anyways, I am glad to have a fresh new start and I am excited to get back to work.  I hear that this is a good ward.  I also have Sister Missionaries in my district.  That will be something way different for me.  I have never even seen a sister missionary yet in the mission so I have no idea what being their leader will be like.  I just hope I don´t make anyone cry...  Since there have been changes, there really is nothing to report.  Next week I should have more to say.

To Cameron... Hmm... the only advice I would have is don´t do anything stupid.  That´s about it.  There isn´t much you can do to prepare for what you’re about to get yourself into.  You could maybe work with the missionaries more.  Go on visits and tract with them.  Also read and study the doctrine of obedience and the doctrine of Christ.  Study what your calling is as a missionary.  That will help the most I think.

Love, 

Elder McRae

P.S. In my last sector I was really close to LA COLMENA. My old sector.  So i passed by to see some of the members and stuff.  Brother Merchan made me a pair of pants last time I was there and he offered to make me another pair. He showed me a couple of the left over materials that he had.  The red wine fabric was my instant favorite.  I can´t actually use them to proselyte in but they will be sweet when I get home. :)

10.7.12 Guayaquil, Ecuador

Family,

I feel like the whole world just shot forward one year without me.  Elder Doyle told me the news because we didn’t attend the Saturday sessions until the Priesthood session.  Wow.  I think that is super awesome and hope Cameron is out of there and heading to Ecuador in December.  We already have two brothers from the Dominican Republic here.  I feel like mission work just got amplified for the world.  There is no better choice one can make than to serve a mission.  It looks like the Church is trying to stress that.  Wow.  As for the women being able to leave at 19 now... I thought that was going to happen.  I had already thought about that and it didn´t make sense to me why they couldn´t leave at an earlier age.  Now they can.  Obviously, I thought of Sarah. That would be awesome if she chose to go on a mission.  But that is between her and the Lord.  But what I hope that announcement did, was show how important sister missionaries are, and how equally important a mission is for a woman as it is for a man.  I am excited to hear about everyone who will be leaving now.  And I heard Tucson is getting a temple.  Why have we not been to every temple is Arizona by the way?  Members in Loja have to travel over 10 hours to Guayaquil to go to the temple.  We had three well within 10 hours.  I want to visit all 6 when I get back home.  

Okay, so our investigators only attended the Sunday Morning session.  I didn´t see the Saturday sessions, but of the 3 that I did see, I liked the Sunday morning one the best.  Holland never ceases to amaze right? Even the translator was crying.  That never happens. I received ALOT of personal inspiration during that talk.  I had been working on a specific attribute of Christ this week and found so many scriptures that helped me.  I was working on the HUMILITY trait.  More specifically, I was trying to not worry or care so much about what other people think.  Or I was trying to lose that desire to be RECOGNIZED.  Anyways, I had many great experiences with that during the week.  I read ALMA 37 and 38.  Look at the difference in how Alma describes his two sons.  Then look and realize which of the two receives the plates and becomes prophet.  Why did Alma choose Helaman?  Who was better qualified? Why?  I couldn´t believe how much I learned from those chapters. Then to top everything off, Elder Holland gave an amazing talk.  And even though I don´t think he mentioned anything about pride, I was able to learn about myself from his talk.  Like I said before, If you go into conference prepared to receive inspiration, you will receive it.  I have a very firm testimony of that.  My investigators all liked President Monson´s talk about receiving personal revelation and being the answers to other people´s prayers.  

I hope my investigators found what they were looking for.  We were able to bring eight people to the conference. One woman just needs to get divorced from some Cuban she has never met and she can get baptized.  We are working in the process of that right now.  If we are lucky she can get baptized at the end of this month with her two kids.  

This is about all I can think of to write.  I am so glad we have an amazing prophet that guides us in these last days.  All the general authorities are called and inspired of God.  The church is true.  And God is our Heavenly Father and he loves us.  I have a very strong testimony that God exists.  He talked to me more this week than any other week.  I am glad that I am important to him. What I have been trying to learn, understand, and live, is that he should be the most important to me.  Because like Elder Holland said, he will ask me, ´Do you love me?´ I want to be able to answer truthfully and with actions to back it up.  

All is good here in Guayaquil.  It is starting to get Hot.  Yet the members continue to give us scalding hot soup... Send those papers in, Cam!

Love,

Elder McRae

9.30.12 Guayaquil, Ecuador

Family,

Now that this week has ended, we can focus on the best week of the year. CONFERENCE.  The Lord`s blessing is that at least half of the people you bring to conference WILL get baptized.  So we are doing our best to bring lots of people.  

Talmage saved me this week as well.  My first experience with Talmage was Thursday night.  We were teaching a less active family when one of their non member family members came into the house.  For some reason he attacked me right off the bat about what God`s name is.  After about 20 minutes of wasted time explaining how Jehova and Jesus are the same person, everyone understood... besides him.  I have already learned that people don`t accept reason, and are stubborn; but that`s okay.  Anyway, so I have some homework for you guys.  Can you find a scripture in the OLD TESTAMENT when a prophet saw God the FATHER? I am still searching.  Anyway, on Sunday that man just happened to go to church, was reading the Book of Mormon, and listening to the missionaries in his own ward.  So that was further evidence that this is not my work.  It is God's work.  Cool right?  

The second Talmage experience.  Bishop this week asked me 5 minutes into sacrament meeting to give a 15 minute talk on fasting.  I couldn`t think of a harder topic to wing.  Luckily, I had read the part in Jesus the Christ that talks about how Jesus was tempted to turn the rocks into bread.  I remembered a few scriptures from that part and was able to share a couple examples in the Bible about when people sinned in order to eat and how fasting helps us to overcome our natural man.  It ended up being a pretty good talk with lots of scriptures and I was able to share a couple of examples from my mission thus far.  So thanks to Jesus the Christ, I was able to act in the two situations this week.  

Anyways, I am so thankful for the members in my ward.  Without them, we would have had a very bad first three weeks working in the sector without knowing anything or anyone.  But they have been super helpful.  One of the members is going to pick all our investigators up in his bus and take them to conference this weekend.  

Tell Bishop King I learned a great knew joke.  Since he sits behind the speaker, tell him to give the person speaking a `Flat Tire.`   I found that super annoying as my bishop did that about 5 times as I was speaking.  The first and second counselors were just laughing.  

Make sure when you go to conference you go spiritually prepared.  As a missionary, I have really learned about the importance of General Conference and any conference.  If you go spiritually prepared, the Lord WILL speak to you.  We promise that to our investigators and all of them that go with the question of whether they should be baptized or not, all of them come out with a great desire to be baptized.  All is well in Guayaquil.

Love,

Elder McRae

9.24.12 La Chala, Ecuador

Family,

The football team smashed my car?  Okay I guess I can accept that.  Even though I had been praying that somehow when I got home, it would be sitting there, all brand new and ready for another ten years of use.  But smashed into tiny bits in the courtyard at Liberty is a good 2^nd, I guess.  So- not much happening here either.  My new companion is Elder Pereyra.  He is from Argentina.  We had a good talk about obedience and stuff like that.  It was actually really good because he taught me a lot.  He told me that there are two types of leaders - spiritual leaders, and temporal leaders.  A temporal leader is someone who is called to be a leader.  A spiritual leader is someone who you actually have a desire to follow.  I had never thought about that but it is totally true.  But I think I can help him a lot to be a little more obedient.  He made me reflect on my own life though.  It isn´t important what other people think. I can defiantly apply that in my own life.  What matters is if I actually am a good missionary, not whether or not everyone else thinks I am or not. Anyways, it has been a long week; a lot of contacting and trying to start a new program.  I forgot how wicked this place is.  It is very different than Cuenca. No one is married but everyone is living together.  All the females at the age of 15 are already living with their boyfriends and have a kid.  The hardest part of contacting here is not finding people who are interested.  It is finding people who can actually progress and get baptized.  But we keep praying hard that we can find some good people to teach.  

I feel like I have nothing to do now that I am not zone leader.  That is the most difficult part right now.  But I learned that President has confidence in me.  He calls me a lot lately.  I called him because a lady that was going to get baptized had a past sin.  I called him and told him the situation like normal. Then he asked me how she looked and what I thought.  I said she looked fine and repentant.  He just said, ‘okay, I trust you, she can get baptized.’  It is nice to have that kind of trust between your leaders.  

That´s just about everything new here.  Everything is going great.

Love,

Elder McRae

9.17.12 La Chala, Ecuador

Family,

This week was...  Long, frustrating, boring, but... was well worth it.  We had four baptisms this Saturday.  This is the second time now the mission president switched me to a ward that had four baptisms the same week I arrived.  I think he wishes I would have more baptisms.  Interestingly enough, I had an interview with President on Tuesday.  My companion called for an interview. The first thing president said to me when he saw me in the mission office was that this is a church of inspiration and it was obviously guided by the Lord.  I had no idea what he was talking about.  There were about 12 missionaries in the office all waiting for interviews.  President told me that I would be going 2nd to last and that my companion would be going last.  When I finally went in, he asked me a ton of questions about Cuenca.  He wanted to know how the missionaries were and what I saw as Cuenca´s potential.  After all that, he told me that I was in Guayaquil for a specific purpose.  With the help of the zone leaders, we were able to find our way around La Chala and we got the four baptized and confirmed this week.  Today I have to be back in the mission office at 4 in order to pick up my new companion.  I feel like this is going to be a very long change.  

A few days ago, I was walking with another pair of missionaries and talked to a man named Maximo Banguerra.   He is the Goalie for Ecuador and for the team here in Guayaquil, Barcelona.  Everyone knows him.  His mom lives in the sector next to mine.  He was visiting her.  When we told that story to our investigators, they all freaked out.  But, it get´s better.  The next morning, we were going to drop off our clothes to get cleaned and as we were walking, a big black hummer drove up behind us.  Maximo rolled down his window and gave us a thumbs up.  So yeah, I know Maximo Banguerra, and he knows me and all of La Chala now knows it.  

The change back to Guayaquil has been very different.  I feel like I got changed to a different country.  Everyone is so open for one.  Everyone says hi in the streets when you pass them.  That is way different than Cuenca. Everyone just keeps to themselves there.  Church was way different.  It was like a huge family reunion with everyone hugging everyone and talking and laughing and joking.  That is also way different than Cuenca.  I feel super awkward.  Because in Cuenca, I was the most open person of everyone there and now everyone is always asking me if I am angry.  It is way hotter than Cuenca, and I know it is only going to get hotter.  In November, December, January, and February it is terrible.  

So yeah, I kind of feel like I am starting my mission all over again.  But I can take advantage of things better now with the knowledge I gained as zone leader.  And who knows, by next change I might be back there again and I won’t have the opportunity to do a lot of the things you can do as a normal missionary.  I have a lot of studying goals, and also proselyting goals.  I just hope my next companion shapes up a little bit so we can work together.

All is well in La Chala.

Love,

Elder McRae

9.10.12 Guayaquil, Ecuador

Family,

I actually had a super great week.  However, unfortunately, it ended badly.  I got changed.  I am back in Guayaquil and as a district leader again.  I don’t know what happened, but a whole ton of zone leaders got dropped to district leaders this change.  To me, it is kind of hard to take... I don´t know what I did wrong. 

I had a lot of great experiences this week that I just don`t feel like explaining because I am kind of bummed about getting dropped.  

At church on Sunday, a man named Darwin showed up with his inactive wife.  I remember seeing him at church my first week.  He didn`t want anything to do with us when he came the first time.  But this time, six months later, he came to church super excited and participating.  I couldn`t believe it.  God reminded me that this is His work.  It is not my work.  He is the only one who can work miracles in the lives of these people.  Darwin`s father-in-law gave him a blessing during the week and Darwin was healed instantly.  He said he gained a testimony of the church in that moment and he will be baptized on the 22nd of September.  

I also felt something I never had felt before; a love for the people of Cuenca, unlike any I have experienced since being here.  As we knelt down to pray with one of our investigators, I pleaded with Heavenly Father in my heart to touch the heart of this man and allow him to change.  My companion was praying out loud, but I was praying in my heart.  And I did it out of the love I had for this man I had never met before.  I surprised myself.  It is difficult for me to explain, but I just felt such a pure love for the people I taught this week.  That love carried over to my personal prayers as I prayed for every investigator individually, asking that God help them to accept this gospel.  I prayed for my missionaries, their sectors, their investigators, my family, my friends, Sarah and her family, with this same love that I had experienced all that week.  

I am grateful for the experiences that I had in Cuenca.  They have helped me grow as a missionary and as a person.  I still don’t understand why I got lowered to a district leader again, and I am sorry if I let anyone down for that.  But, I now have a great opportunity to be in Guayaquil as a district leader with all the experience of a zone leader.  

Life can be as hard, easy, happy, or sad as you make it.  Keep the big purpose in perspective and everything else doesn`t bother you.  Remember that you are a child of god who loves you.  That He sent his son to earth to die for us so that we all may be saved if we stay faithful to the covenants that we have made.  That is actually how easy life is.  Why be preoccupied with anything else?  God just asks that we all try our best to keep his commandments and magnify our callings in life.  And he even promises to help us and bless us if we do.  What do we have to be worried about or sad about?  In the end, if we are faithful, we will be saved.  Nothing else matters.  So do your best to forget about all the little things that happen in life that make us upset  (Cleaning garages, surgeries, school, work, ect.).  And I will do my best to keep that perspective in mind as well.  

My new companion is Elder LLanco from Peru.  We are going to work hard and have baptisms.  It is about time I complete my missionary purpose to its fullest potential.

Love,

Elder McRae

9.3.12 Cuenca, Ecuador

Family,

Okay, so I am feeling a lot better but everyone else in Cuenca is sick.  It has been so freezing cold these past two weeks.  Not only freezing cold, but raining 24/7.  So I am the only healthy one in the zone.  Luckily, 4 new missionaries are coming here today in the afternoon so they should be healthy.  Elder Rojas is on his way here right now from Guayaquil.  He will be my new companion.  We were both junior companions together in Naranjito in my first sector.  Elder Chicaiza went home early this morning.  All day yesterday he was freaking out to make sure he got to see the converts and members here in Cuenca.  By the end of the night, he was completely ready to go back to Quito.  He was a good companion so I hope elder Rojas can fill in for him.

This week was pretty bitter sweet.  We found a ton of people to teach and they all accepted the invitation to be baptized, but none of them came to church.  We have a lot of work to do now.  We have to find out why all these people didn’t come to church and see what we can do to help them.

We had a super great lesson Friday night with a single mom who recently separated from her husband.  I was so thankful for having the support and help from the members.  We brought two members to this lesson and it turned out great.  We are going to have a family home evening tonight with Belen and with these members again in order to get her excited for her baptism.

A 17 year old kid came up to us during the week and he said he had spoken to missionaries before and that he wanted to get baptized.  It was a miracle.  But he didn´t go to church so it kind of ruined the golden moment.  We will see what we can do.

Elder Gates is a missionary from St. George.  He said he knows the Martin family.  He just finished his first 6 weeks here in Ecuador.   He said JR stitched him up once when he cut his foot on a trampoline.  Crazy huh?

So Elder Christopherson- It really wasn´t what I was expecting.  It was a great meeting and we learned a lot, but I was expecting more of an Elder Holland kick in the face.  He was really calm and relaxed.  There was one part though, where he called up a missionary, and started asking him questions.  When do you go home?  What are you going to do?  Where is your family going to take you?  He ended up getting him to tell him how his stake president was going to release him.  Then he took the Elder`s plaque off. He took his missionary handbook away, and said, ¨You are no longer an Elder, What time will you wake up in the mornings? What will you do with your day?  What kind of music will you listen to? Will you watch tv? What will you watch on tv? ¨ I defiantly felt the spirit during that part.  The way we live as missionaries shouldn’t change drastically when we get home.  I asked myself the same questions.  Will I study my scriptures every day?  What will I watch, listen to, and do?  How will I act?  I am glad I have 11 months left to perfect my life and habits.  I have great habits here in the mission, but will they stick with me?  After listening to Elder Christopherson, I am making it one of my goals to make sure my habits in the mission become apart of who I am as a person and not only as a missionary.

Anyways, I have to go pick up a group of new missionaries from the terminal.  Everything is going great here in Ecuador.  Enjoy the sun... I haven’t seen it in 2 weeks.

Love,
Elder McRae

PS - You have to send the picture of me and Elder Gates to the Martins.
On Elder Chicaiza´s last night we bought him KFC and the whole zone was over to eat

pictures

8.27.12 Cuenca, Ecuador

Family,

I can`t think of much to say.  I am super sick right now so I can`t think.  I had to come down here to Guayaquil for Zone Leader Council, so I had to leave at 3am.  My companion was sick last week and so of course he got me sick this week.  I feel like someone filled my head up with air.  My ears are plugged and my nose is plugged and I have a headache.  Hopefully tomorrow everything is good because we have a lot of work to do in Cuenca.  We finished this month with 12 baptisms in the zone.  President was pretty happy about that and so we have to keep it up.  My companion goes home this weekend so I have to make sure he works until the day he dies.  Everything is all good here in Cuenca.  Elder D. Todd Chrisopherson is coming this Saturday.  I will make sure to tell you all about how that goes.

Love,
Elder McRae

8.20.12 Cuenca, Ecuador

Family,

My companion is ready to go home.  He leaves in two more weeks.  We had kind of a tough week.  We talked to a ton of people and they all hid from us the next time we passed by.  We found a lot of our pamphlets outside their houses, ripped in half or just left out in the rain.  But we can not let that affect us.  I am still excited to work.  We have a lot of work to do.  The Zone should have nine baptisms this week so there is no time to sleep.  I really, really enjoy being a zone leader.  A lot of missionaries use it as a way to be ¨The Boss¨ but that is not what it is for.  It has been a great opportunity to serve and help other missionaries reach their potential.  I love all the elders in my zone and I really do think of the best ways to help each and every one of them.  We have a lot of new missionaries who honestly have not been trained very well.  My last zone leader, Elder Jimenez, use to rip me apart day after day when I was a district leader until I got things perfect.  I am so grateful for him.  Now I can help the rest of our missionaries have success.  A lot of times, they focus on just getting everything done and checked off so that the people can get baptized.  But what I have been helping them understand is that these are people.  They are human beings who have needs that we need to satisfy.  And they don’t always just open up and tell us everything.  But there is always a way through; the Spirit helps us find the true challenges of these people.  For example, I had the chance to interview a lady for baptism.  She had an abortion 8 years ago.  However, this was not her biggest problem.  What she really needed in order to feel good about her baptism was a better relationship with God.  Her husband died a year ago.  She told me how she prayed and prayed for him to live and it didn’t help.  So she said she never prayed again because it doesn’t work.  Just after 5 minutes of talking with this lady she told me all of this.  I wish my missionaries could really focus on what the people need in order to feel a true conversion.  I talked with this lady for about 25 minutes and then she talked with our mission president.  She will be baptized with her son this Saturday.  The Lord can make us do amazing things.  He can give us, as missionaries, power.  But we have to be smart and use it, combined with the spirit, and we can help these people change their lives.  I am so thankful for the opportunity to be a missionary.  This lady will be baptized and confirmed a member of the true church on earth and have the chance to receive all the blessings of exaltation.  Why would I ever want to stop doing what i am doing?  That is why missionaries don’t want to ever go home.  It is why I don’t ever want to go home.  In comparison to saving human souls... nothing else really compares.  I love my mission.  I am so happy to be here. 

Tell all my friends hi.  Ever since we were in 5th grade, Senaka has told me she would get married right away.  And now Shannon beat her.  Ask her what happened, and tell her I am disappointed :) and tell Brook hi too. 

Oh, and I can’t remember why, but I was thinking about Mr. Curtis one day this week.  That´s crazy that you bumped into him.  He was a great coach.  Even though I just kicked, I love football and so I learned a lot from him just about football in general, coaching, and hard work.  Football should be starting up again soon.  I don´t think about it as much as I did at the beginning of last year.  Things have changed a lot.

Is Dempsey still playing on Fulham?

Love,
Elder McRae

8.13.12 Cuenca, Ecuador

Family,

Writing letters is almost a thing of the past.  I have no time.  We just got out of zone leader`s council with President in Guayaquil.  I have about 2 hours before I have to be on the bus to get back to Cuenca by 10pm. 

Anyways, I can`t believe school has started.  That is crazy.  Elder Chicaiza and I had two baptisms this week.  This computer is really weird so I don`t know if I will be able to send the pictures this week.  We put blue food coloring in the baptismal font so it looks like they were baptized in the Galapagos Ocean.  The water was super blue.

This week I was reading in Mosiah about when Alma`s kid is rebelling with the sons of Mosiah.  It was funny because a similar situation happened in Cuenca.  Our missionaries were upset and didn`t know what to do because a lot of their investigadores were not accepting to be baptized or to go to church.  So a couple of them were asking us what they have to do.  Basically they were freaking out because they are not used to working here in Cuenca.  Anyways, so I read them the chapter in Mosiah when Alma is freaking out because all the younger generation doesn`t believe and doesn`t want to join the church.  Alma has no idea what to do so he finally goes to the Lord.  Heavenly Father very nicely responds.  He basically tells Alma, ¨Look, if someone wants to get baptized... baptize them.  If they don`t want to get baptized, don`t baptize them.  It`s that easy.¨ The exact same thing is happening here in Cuenca.  We explained how we can`t force anyone to do anything.  We have to find the people who are willing to be baptized and help them get baptized. 

I don`t know how to describe how much I love being here.  I never thought I would get to that point where I want to stay here for the rest of my life.  But... I love what I do.  I am so happy to be here in Ecuador and would not rather be anywhere else.

Love,
Elder McRae

8.6.12 Cunenca, Ecuador

Family,

We had another busy week.  Wednesday we went to Guayaquil for zone leader council with the mission president.  He gave us a good beating...  He figured out that half of the missionaries in the mission have no one in their program and are not helping towards our goals.  What he did was actually pretty good.  He forced us to promise a baptism from every missionary.  If that means that we, as leaders, have to go to their sector and help them more than probably is necessary, then that is what we have to do.  So this week I spent most of my time in other people´s sectors helping them study better, and put baptismal dates.  It was actually a surprising result.  We were successful in helping a lot of missionaries ¨levantar¨ their programs.  And the most amazing part is we somehow found time to have some success in our own sector.  This week we should finally be able to have a baptism. 

Polivio and his daughter Ana are going to get baptized this Saturday.  Polivio is the brother of a member in our ward.  He recently moved here and his family brought him and his daughter to church.  There really isn´t a big conversion story behind them.  After church we asked them how they liked it and they said it was good.  So we asked them to get baptized and they said, ‘yeah, let´s do it’.  I wish all our investigadores could be as easy as them.  The other thing I realized though is that everything that has to do with missionary work revolves around the members.  If someone has a lot of LDS friends, then the chances of them wanting to be baptized are so much higher.  I am super thankful for the Aucay family and their willingness to share the gospel with their family. 

You guys ask a lot for me to describe some of the families we are teaching.  So i will do my best.  The truth is we don´t focus a lot on people who are not going to progress.  People who decline the invitation to be baptized or decline the invitation to go to church are very hard to teach.  We are constantly searching for the chosen people - people who will recognize us as servants of Christ and accept the invitation to follow him by being baptized.  So we go through a ton of investigadors each week.  That´s why I don´t give a lot of details about the people we teach because usually we only teach them one or two times and then they hide from us so we don´t go back.  But we are teaching a man named William.  He is super confused.  Sometimes I feel like he puts on a little bit of a show for us but it is still obvious that he is a little confused.  He knows there is a true church.  He knows that if he is not a part of that church then he is damned.  So he really wants to find the right church.  However, he is so focused on the idea that there is so much confusion in the world and that it is super hard to find the right church, that he won´t put any effort in to go to our church and pray about it.  But he told us a story of how he came to believe in God.  His wife was 5 months pregnant when she went into a coma.  One day the doctors came up to him and asked him to sign a paper giving them permission to try and have the baby be born in order to save his wife.  He signed the paper knowing there was a 99% chance that the baby would not live.  The baby was born at 5 1/2 months and is now 1 year old and his wife is fine.  In that moment, he said he accepted God in his life.  I would really like to help this man, and his family, get baptized in the church.  He could be a powerful leader.

Anyways, everything is going great here in Ecuador.  The zone looks good and our sector looks good too.  It´s all down hill from here.  This is the last 6th of August I will have in my mission...

The people here don´t really watch the Olympics.  I see them on in stores that sell TVs but I’ve not seen anyone watching them yet.  I did hear that Andy Murray won gold, and we saw women’s shot put today when we were eating in the mall.  Please look up the woman from Hungary (I think) who does the shot put. My companion and I are convinced it is a man.

Tell Cameron and Gavin that there is a family in my ward from the US.  Their 2-year-old daughter was watching some show about animals that rescue other animals.  The one where the duck says, ¨The Phone is Winging¨ ¨This is sewious¨ ¨What´s gonna work? Team work!¨ I remember Gavin and Cameron making fun of that show.

Love,
Elder McRae

7.30.12

Family,

Okay, this was a super long week.  SUPER long week.  Tuesday, Elder Chicaiza and I went to Guayaquil for council.  I get to see the Mission President a lot more now.  Then on Thursday, we had a multi-zone conference with the area president, Elder Pino.  This man was so powerful. He is the type of person I want to be like.  You just see him and can tell he is so close to the Lord.  He was impressed with the mission so that was good.  After the conference, we had a special meeting as zone leaders with Elder Pino.  We made a lot of plans and goals to help the mission... (mejorar).  At the end of the meeting he said, all these goals and plans are great, now, in one month show me the results.  That´s what I am talking about.  Anyways, he told us that this next month, on September 2, apostles are coming to the mission.  So I am super excited about that. 

It is so nice to have a companion who knows what he is doing again.  We worked super hard this week and should have baptisms this month.  I have now completed 3 months without a baptism.  That bothers me just about every day.  I hope that these people that we teach will have the courage to actually be baptized.  Elder Chicaiza is going home in 5 weeks so I know he wants baptisms bad as well.  He also hasn´t had one for a couple months.  We know we can do it.  It is a great sector.  We are focused on helping the members (desarrolar) some now. The members need to be more friendly and animated.  If we can fix this, we will defiantly have some baptisms this month.

Anyways, i can´t think of anything else to say.  We are working hard and we have no time to stop.  54 short weeks and I will be home.  Scary huh?  Oh, when that finally hit me… that I was half way done… I started thinking.  The world is a scary place.  I understand why missionaries don´t want to leave their mission.  I don´t want to leave either.  I love what I do.  I love helping people... FETCH (mejorar) their lives and come closer to Christ.  I love my position as a leader as well because I can help other missionaries reach their maximum potential.  The Lord has blessed me in the fact that I am a likeable person.  It is easy for me to get along with the missionaries in my zone and that makes it so much easier to help them. 

Beware of pride.  The world is the way it is because of pride.  Pride always leads to sin.  Another thing that makes the real world scary is that it is full of pride.  Everyone wants to compete to be better than everyone else.  It doesn´t matter.  The most important work on the face of the earth is missionary work.  Don´t waste a single second worrying about your social status, or worse, the social status of other people.  We didn´t have a baptism this week for this reason.  Everything about high school (se centra) (is centered) around pride.  Tell Cam, Gav, and everyone else to forget about it.  Focus on what matters and make sure you have a good relationship with God.  We will feel much better about ourselves this way, than trying to appear ‘cool´ in other peoples´ eyes.

Yeah, so all is good here in Cuenca.  I don´t want to rub it in, but I woke up in 50 degree weather and it is about 70 outside right now ;)

Love,
Elder McRae

7.22.12 Cuenca, Ecuador

Family,

It was another long and demanding week.  The last week before changes is always the hardest because at times, we feel like just waiting to know what happens instead of working.  But we worked a lot with Irma and Silvia since they are our only real investigators at the moment.  Silvia didn´t go to church because she had to work at the cyber that they own because the owner was out of town.  It was annoying but Irma went which means she now has two attendances and should get baptized this week.

Last night, we got all the news on the changes.  I was really freaking out.  Even though sometimes Cuenca can be horrible, I still love it because it is my home.  I have been here over four months and I couldn´t imagine leaving.  So, when the changes came in and said I was staying and my companion was leaving, I was super relieved.  The next bit of news was a bit of a shock though.  Elder Chicaiza got changed to my sector as well as my new companion.  So we are now the zone leaders here is Cuenca.  It is exciting and at the same time scary.  There obviously is a lot of pressure, but like all things, the more pressure the more we grow.  So, I am super excited for my opportunity to serve, and learn, and grow, but I also want to be able to do a good job.

Today is my first day as zone leader and it started out by traveling and making sure everyone got in and out of Cuenca as they should.  Tomorrow, I have to be in Guayaquil for council and Thursday i have to go to Machala because a Seventy is coming.  I don´t know where all this money is going to come from to pay for all this travel but I am sure everything will turn out fine.

The year mark is quickly approaching.  In one year, I will be home and Cameron will be getting ready to leave.  I don´t know why but I am super excited for that moment.  The mission has blessed my life in so many ways and I don´t know how to express the importance of serving a mission.  But I know it will be an amazing opportunity for Cam and Gav… I also know that we can all receive so many blessings for the 6+ years of missionary service our family will give.  The first presidency said, (oops, I only know the quote in spanish... google translate it.)  ¨No hay obra mas importante que esta, ni hay otra que brinda más satisfaction.¨

I will have a lot less personal time now.  I won´t have a lot of time on P days anymore but this is my new callings so I have to fulfill it the best that I can.

Love,
Elder McRae