Family,
This week had its ups and its downs. I don`t know why but sometimes I just get super angry. I guess I let my mind start to get the best of me and I get upset. As I think like a total pessimist, and ask ¨Why me?¨ or ¨Where are my blessings?¨ I get myself all psyched out. Anyways, so Tuesday morning, I just woke up angry. We went to our normal district meeting and I did my best to not show how fuming I was. Obviously my companion could tell and a couple other missionaries but everything was all under control. Of course the Super unaware, 3 weeks into her mission, Sister May didn`t notice my attitude. She asked me to give her a blessing after the district meeting. She can`t understand Spanish very well yet and I was the only Elder that spoke English there, so she asked me to give it in English. I took a huge breath and went ahead and gave her a blessing. I think I messed up over 100 times looking for words and stumbling on pronunciation… but I made it through. My companion laughed at me all day because he knew I was not super excited to give her a blessing, feeling the way I did. After about half way through the day, we were walking and I think there was steam coming out of my ears. I saw a man sitting on the curb looking very upset. He had a lot of little Ecuador flags and key chains and dumb things like that. I don`t know how or why I did, but I sat down next to him and asked him how he was doing. He said, ‘tired’. I told him I was too. I could tell he was very shy and sad about his situation. I asked him how his work was going and he said it wasn`t going well. So I read him a scripture about how if we put our trust in God he will give us the success in life we are looking for. Then I bought an Ecuador key chain and we went on our way. I have never really been able to relate very much with the people I teach but I was glad to be able to relate to this man. I didn`t feel super amazing afterwards, but I did feel the satisfaction that I helped someone out when I just wanted to kick someone in the head.
I just still am so surprised for some reason that life is hard. I am doing my best to notice all the good things in life, so I can refocus my energy and be grateful.
David and Blanca got baptized. It was awesome and I am so excited to see them progress in the gospel.
So it looks like you guys have lots of work to do back at home. It is crazy how you can never take a break. There is always something you can do to serve the Lord and better yourself.
Anyways, i am sill very happy to be here. I do love my mission and I am enjoying it. I just have my moments. The Lord wants me to show a lot of faith right now. I do understand that. That is what I pray for every night. Faith and Hope that everything will be okay later.
Love,
Elder McRae
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