2.22.12 Puerto Lisa, Ecuador

Family,

We are writing today, Wednesday, because Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday we were locked in our house all day.  This weekend was a festival called Carnival.  So everyone was drunk and it was too dangerous for missionaries to go outside.  Carnival looked super fun though.  It´s basically a day for the whole city to have a huge water fight.  Everyone has their pools in their front yards with music going.  The kids fight with water balloons and super soakers.  And then they get a little more crazy as the days go on.  Sunday is calm; just a lot of water activities.  Then Monday they start throwing powder paint everywhere.  They get in the back of trucks and drive around throwing paint and water over everyone.  Then on Tuesday they basically throw whatever they can find.  Eggs, paint, water, mud, animal parts, and other stuff.  By today everyone is back to normal and the city looks like it just got bombed.  There is garbage everywhere and everyone is still hung over, but it did look like a pretty fun 3-day party.

Okay, so this past week was a little better. I read my patriarchal blessing a few times this week and tried to focus on the part that talks about my mission.  It talks a lot about healing and giving blessings.  I forgot about that part.  I remembered that I have probably given 25 or 30 blessings so far.  I gave 2 this past Sunday.  I have given them to companions in the MTC, and tons of members so far. 

We had zone conference this week also.  I just have to say that our mission president is the Best mission president on the face of the earth.  He also randomly showed up at our house on Monday.  He came to ask us if we needed anything.  He talked to my companion and I about what we can do to better our program that we have.  He talked to my companion alone for a bit and then to me also.  It was the best experience… to get to sit down and talk to him and listen to what he has to say about everything.  He just told me to always study and speak in Spanish.  He left and my companion and I talked about what just happened.  I told him how President just told me to speak Spanish.  Elder Dahlin said, ¨I know.  He talked to me about it too.  Why do you think he keeps bugging you to speak Spanish?¨  I didn´t have an answer. ¨Because he wants you to be a leader.  He doesn´t tell the other missionaries to better their Spanish because it doesn´t matter.  He wants you to be a leader.¨  So I thought about that for a while. 

Bishop sent me an email.  He said something scarily similar to my patriarchal blessing.  I will help people reach their potential.  That is something that stuck out to me when I read it this week.  Especially after what President and my companion said to me.  So tell Bishop thank you for his letter.  It had a lot of great insight and helped a lot.  Like he, and my mission president said, ¨It doesn´t matter what you were before the mission, It´s about submitting to the Lord so He can make you what He wants you to be. ¨ 

So the mission isn´t easy and won´t be easy.  And yeah, so you understood how I was feeling the first six months of my mission.  Like everyone was expecting me to do something amazing, or have tons of success, or just something that made me stick out.  And it didn´t happen.  So I was worried that people would feel like I wasn´t good enough, or not doing my job, or not trying my best.  Now I know to just forget about that.  Forget about everyone else and do what God wants me to do.  So I have 18 months to do what he wants me to do.  A lot of work to be done, a LOT.

Love,

Elder McRae

2.13.12 Puerto Lisa, Ecuador (humility)

Family,

I have actually been feeling this way for a little bit but I haven´t really understood why or what I am supposed to learn from it.  So, my whole life I have been blessed.  I have always been somewhat of a smart person.  I am naturally good at Football, Soccer, and Tennis. I have been blessed with leadership skills.  Some think I’m good looking.  I´ve never had to work a day in my life.  I can speak well in front of a lot of people.  I have never doubted my testimony.  I have been blessed with the ability to bare a strong testimony.   And my life has pretty much been as good as it could get.  All of these things have obviously built up a lot of pride.  A LOT of pride.  They also have set really high standards for me.  I feel like I should do a lot of great things in life and lots of other people think I should be able to do great things.  I have always just assumed I would be a great missionary.  And I know other people thought I was going to be a great missionary.  So here I am… six months into my mission.  I have had 5 baptisms.  I still can´t speak the language.  I am still junior companion.  And quite frankly, I can say I haven´t made a difference in anyone´s life here yet.  This is the reality.  I have been completely humbled; humbled in a way unlike any other before in my life.  I am not anyone special here.  I am not an exceptional missionary, not a good missionary, and probably not even an average missionary.  I can´t talk with the people because 1. I don’t know what they are saying or how to reply, and 2. I just don´t have that 1 on 1 communication skill. I am not a help whatsoever to my companion in contacting.  Yea, I can stand up and give a good memorized talk, but that doesn´t convert anyone.  I have realized that just maybe for once, I can´t be what I thought I could be.  Heavenly Father gives men weakness so that they will be humble.  Like I said, I have been humbled beyond humility.  So I want to say sorry to anyone that I have let down.  I am sorry I am not the missionary that maybe you thought I could be.  It isn´t that I am not trying, or being obedient, or working hard.  It is just that I don´t have the ability to be that crazy successful missionary here.  I am not giving up.  I am not going to work less.  I promise I will return the absolute best missionary I can be.  But what I am saying is the best missionary I can be may just be a below average missionary.  So tell everyone that expected more out of me I am sorry for letting them down. 

I am still thankful to be here.  It is the best choice of my life.  I have learned so much more than any other time in my life.  There may not have been another place I could be humbled, so I am thankful for that also.  This is how I have been feeling the last couple months.  The thing that always gives me a little more peace though is reading the scriptures.  I gain a little more confidence when I read the scriptures.  I have grown to depend on them, which also may be what the Lord has wanted me to learn from all of this. 

I still haven´t got a package.  They might get mail for us Wednesday so I will let you know if I get it by next P day.  It has been raining every day these past 3 weeks.  I have used all my rain gear.  And yes we walk in streets full of water up to our knees.  We get home soaking wet and sometimes we can take a shower and sometime the water is turned off and we can´t.  All the fun things that come with being in a third world country.

Love,

Elder McRae

2.6.12 Puerto LIsa, Ecuador

Family,

All the stuff going on at home sounds like a lot of fun.  That totally is crazy how every single one of my friends is serving a Spanish speaking mission.  I was really hoping someone would get called to the Ecuador Guyaquil South Mission.  Oh well.  If any of them want advice here are 2 things that will help them prepare.  Begin living the missionary schedule.  (wake up early, exercise, shower, read scriptures for an hour, then study preach my gospel for an hour, then STUDY SPANISH!)  Then just start the day normal at 11 when they finish all those things.  The other thing is STUDY SPANISH.  You can learn so much so fast.  You can become fluent enough in 9 weeks.  Then they would have the MTC to learn for 9 more weeks and they could show up to the mission and actually be a missionary not just the junior companion that sits in on lessons because he has no idea what’s going on.  Those two things would help the most.

Okay, so I got changed today.  I am no longer in Independencia.  I moved to the next zone over.  I am literally 10 minutes or less from my old sector.  I am in Puerto Lisa, the sector La Colmena.  It definitely is one economic class higher that Independencia.  I learned a lot in Independencia but the work didn’t always pay off.  I am kind of grateful for that though.  I gained a new outlook on missionary work because of it.  But I am excited to get working here and see what we can do.  My new companion is Elder Dahlin.  He is from California.  He is actually from the same area as Kyle Brazelton´s mission.  He lives in that mission´s boundaries.  Pretty sweet huh?

Here are some pictures that I have taken in Independencia.

Love,
Elder McRae

4.30.12 Independencia

Family,

I emailed last week so I don’t know what happened.  I will send it again but that really makes me mad.  Oh well. 

So this week...  Not much happening really.  Satan is still working as hard as he can to slow us down.  Every week, we are reminded that we are not in the best sector of the mission.  But that is fine because we are still working hard and actually having success.  It just means when I leave to a real sector I will have all my work ethic from this sector and we will be able to have lots of success. 

So, the old assistant to the president goes home this week.  Which means the last week, the mission president put him in a lower position so he could just finish his mission as a normal missionary.  My companion and I are blessed because he is our district leader.  So this week we had the opportunity to go on exchanges with him and then he gave us our own little lesson.  It was so great.  We learned a lot! 

In church the other day, a 6 year old boy was giving a talk about when Jesus was as young as he was.  He talked for about 2 minutes and then ended his talk by saying, ¨And Jesus really was a boy like me.  He was handsome and intelligent just like me, AMEN¨ It was pretty funny.  I have a few more stories but they will have to wait until I get home.

So on Thursday, I complete 6 months.  The time is flying by.  So in no time, I will be done.  And there is still a lot of work to be done.  Tell me how the super bowl ends up and you guys never told me if the US or Venezuela won.

Love,

Elder McRae