Dear Family
I will only be able to write letters and respond to emails on Wednesdays. This may change when I get to Peru. My district and especially the four of us going to Peru got that short end of the stick when it comes to P-Days. Our P-Day is on Wednesdays which means we had to wait a whole week before we got one. Also, for us going to Peru we leave Wednesday the 24th which means we are out another P-Day. So I will only be writing one more letter while here in the Provo MTC.
The days are so ridiculously long here that they all just feel like one day smashed together. We have NO free time ever. I only have 25 minutes to respond to emails on P-Day. I am only allowed to email my direct family as well. So our day consists of waking up and heading to the classroom for personal study. We eat breakfast then have another hour of companionship study in the classroom. We then spend the next 3 hours in the classroom learning how to teach in Spanish. Then we go to lunch. After lunch we do another hour of language practice in a different classroom with computers. We go to gym after this for an hour. Then we get dinner. Then we return to our classroom for 3 more hours of Spanish and teaching an investigator in Spanish. We then close in the classroom with an hour long district meeting. Then we go back to our rooms for an hour of personal
quiet time study then we sleep. We are in the classroom for about 11 hours every day.
My district is great. We are all different. Most are very nerdy, some are not, but we all get along almost too well. We have a blast together. My companion is by far the most nerdy and can get very annoying. Luckily I have a lot of patience so he is in great hands. I just have to save him sometimes from one of the other district members before he gets attacked. I have been dubbed the KING of 4 square in the gym. It can get very intense and heated but of course that is exactly what I love. I was standing by the world map one day and a group of elders came up to ask me if I was leaving soon. I said "yes sorry do you want to look at the map?" they responded "no we would just like to be able to win at four square and we can't until you leave!"
Lucky for me I have 2 other elders from my district in the same room and me and my companion. They are my favorite district members. They keep me sane while I have to listen to my companion take way too long to explain himself. We all have a great time together though.
Now for some spiritual insight. The first 3 or 4 days I began to feel like a worthless missionary. I knew I could teach the lessons just as well of better than any missionary in the MTC. The only problem, I can’t speak Spanish. I felt useless. Like a missionary who could in no way fulfill my purpose to bring souls to God. It troubled me greatly. I felt like the Lord would have to babysit me since I couldn't explain the lessons in Spanish the way I wanted to. After studying and speaking with my AMAZING branch president I discovered that God has humbled me for a reason. The more prideful you are as a missionary the less effective you are. The Lord makes some missionaries humble themselves but with me he couldn’t afford to waste time. He got me early. He called me to Ecuador so in the MTC I would feel worthless. He called me to Ecuador so I would have no other option but to reply on him. He is going to mold me to be what he wants me to be. He can’t mold a hard piece of clay. He had to break me down and soften me to mold me into what he wants. If I try to fight that I WILL be worthless. I have accepted that only through him and the Holy Ghost will I be an effective missionary. Elder Samuelson from the 70 spoke to us last night. He spoke of the importance of our missions. He told a story that made me think if those missionaries in Aberdeen Scotland did not accept their call to serve a mission i would not be here today. How important is it that i strive to be the best missionary I can be so that in 40 years some little Ecuadorian 19 year old kid can say, "I am on a mission because 40 years ago Elder McRae taught my grandparents the Gospel." When I think of it in these terms it makes clear sense why I am here. I am here to change lives of not only the people I teach but all of their posterity as well.Keep sending the dear elders! It’s what we look forward to most during the day. Try and get my friends to write and tell me what’s up so I can share my testimony with them.
Love you all, I miss you just as much as you miss me.... which is not that much ;)
Love,
Elder McRae
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